Against All Odds- Support for victims of gambling

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Against the Odds - Support for the victims of gambling


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I am attempting to arrange an event that will ultimately fund an ongoing charity that will offer hands on and practical support for the real victims of gambling addiction…..the families, the wives, the husbands, the partners and the children.

Gambling addiction is a serious problem, and causes a multitude of financial problems within thousands of families within the U.K.

Many people are reluctant when it comes to support for people that have an addiction of any kind, but most especially gambling as ultimately they made the initial choice to gamble money away, and a further sequence of choices to not ask for help when they realised that they had a problem, and to cover up their addiction with lies and misdirection.

And in most cases this is completely true. We will not be offering ANY direct support for the gamblers themselves. They have caused the problems and must take responsibility for their actions and suffer the consequences.

What I am attempting to do is offer direct support to the people around the gamblers, the family members, partners, and children who have suffered the deceit, who have gone without possessions, food shopping, cloth shopping, trips away, little luxuries as well life’s day to day basics and general financial stability, and have been the bearers of the burdens of the mood swings when conversation turns to money, the deceptive behaviour, the lying and misdirection, not just with financial issues, but with the whereabouts of the gambling addict in their life. These people made no choice to be in this situation; however they find themselves suffering more than the gamblers themselves.

The results of gambling addiction can in most cases be severe before any light is shed on the problem, and when the circumstance is revealed the ones around the gambler are offered no support whatsoever. There is not a single charity, or organisation that offers any kind of hands on help for these victims. As a result of the lack of support families are broken up, houses are repossessed; people find themselves in extortionate sums of debt that they saw no reason for, and had no part in accumulating.

The partners that offer to stay and help the addict recover are offered no advice or help in how to do so and wander blindly into this realm that is completely alien to them.

 

This is what I plan to stop.

 

My ultimate goal is to create a self supporting well funded national charity organisation that can offer direct help for those suffering the aftermath of discovering a loved one who has an addiction to gambling.

So much so that eventually I wish to have a sizeable reserve fund for the most severe cases, where after deep examination, families or individuals may be on the brink of losing homes and possessions due to results of excessive gambling, and be able to offer them funds in which to prevent this.

However that is a long way off, but everything starts somewhere, and I truly hope that this is where it begins.

My initial goal is to be able to arrange a weekly meeting similar to that offered to the gamblers themselves in the way of Gamblers Anonymous, but aimed at help for those victims who are not to blame for their plight. We would offer the opportunity for these people to share their experiences with others in a similar situation, in the hope of gaining some understanding and support on the road to recovery. We will also offer some literature for them to take away and read, that will be filled with strategies and experiences endured by others in their attempt to salvage their lives from this truly crippling issue. It will contain ways in which to manage finances, with regards to closing or blocking accounts or access to accounts, receipt based schemes that allow the gambler freedom of having some control of money, but still allowing the truly injured party a sense of security that they never had before, and alternatives to help rebuild the trust of the gambler, while at the same time give both parties individual help for their own recovery as well as that of the family or relationship. It will also contain a support card on which will contain contact numbers to anyone who could be of assistance to them through this healing process

I will also be offering a service to give assistance to those facing debt the opportunity to have their finances revised and attempt to create a budget that allows them the freedom of a relatively ordinary lifestyle, whilst at the same time maximising funds to reduce any outstanding credit. And if they require I will act as a representative to creditors, and try to reach agreements with them with regards to outstanding funds to try and reduce the impact of the members lifestyle, a task that shouldn’t have to be undertaken by the victims of the addictive nature of their loved ones, but is essential if trying to consolidate loans.

 

I am also going to look into the preliminary stages of creating a computer software that will be offered to the members free of charge that blocks any form of online gambling, that can be password protected and monitored by the partner or family member, who will also receive notifications if an online gambling site has been approached, if they so choose to have that. Simply another boundary that can be put in place to allow the recovering party a bit of freedom and allow the levels of trust to grow without being constantly paranoid and suspicious.

This obviously will only come with time and funding.

 

All this and hopefully more will be made available to any member free of charge, and we will be solely supported by voluntary donations from the members themselves.

Just a few tell tale tips....

Here are just a few tell tale signs that MAY help you recognise a compulsive gambler

*particularly solemn and distant, especially when arriving home.

*unexplainable absence for lengths of time,.

*evasive or moody, especially with regards to financial issues.

*prolonged periods of time spent on the computer, usually at unacceptable times of the day.

*keen to intercept mail, and secretive when doing so.

*sever mood changes at certain times of the day or after any of the times  or situations listed above.



You must realise that compulsive gambling is a very shameful addiction to develop, and if you are suspicious  it should be approached with a level of care if possible. Often the gambler wants nothing more than for someone to recognise they have a problem, but is too embarrassed to admit it, or ask for help.

When the subject is broached and an addiction is put into the open, try if possible to find out how deep it goes. Many gamblers withhold the depths of their addiction in a vain attempt to lessen the impact on the partner, or family member, but if put in this situation it is advised that all cards are laid on the table (excuse the pun!) so that the problem can be addressed in total, and dealt with accordingly. If debts are left hidden, a compulsive gambler may in future attempt to return to it to try and recoup the money in an attempt to keep their secret debts hidden, but in doing so will ultimately digress back into what caused the initial problem, and this needs to be avoided at all costs.

And it must also be considered what impact this discovery may have if found later on, during the recovery period, it will be all the more difficult to face by both parties.